Life is a Gift

By: Maria Andrea C. Fernandez

I recently had the time again to read a book. I went to the bookstore and I told myself, I would look for a book that is very realistic. It will touch on human frailty and the darkness of our being. There should be no distorted truths, but it should focus on life itself. I am fed up with stories that dwell into our fantasies. The stories that are too good to be true. Enough with looking at life through rose-colored glasses. We should now get in touch with our inner demons and madness.

I randomly searched for a book that would please me. I went to the bestsellers category. I found several books written by Paulo Coelho. I was on the right track. Who could go wrong with him? I searched for the title that was most intriguing. I decided to go with the most depressing title. It was “Veronika Decides to Die.” Now this is the title I was looking for! When I read the brief description of the story, I told myself, “This book would satisfy my urge to have some bite of rude reality.”

I must say, I wasn’t disappointed. The story was so real and the author knows the psyche of the main character. The author brilliantly examined the character’s inner demons and discontentment with life. But during the course of the story, there was this search for redemption, and the realization that when your days are numbered, that’s when you learn how to appreciate life.

I quickly correlated it to my own life and I suddenly wondered and asked myself this question. “How many of us take our lives for granted?” When our lives don’t have real direction, we tend to do everything as a routine, and even during our leisure time, it seems that after it is over, we feel a certain emptiness within us. What is missing? How can we be really contented with our lives? I think we need something to compel us to do things with vim and vigor. Perhaps a goal that has a certain deadline? We have to admit, people tend to take their sweet time unless they are working on a deadline. Or maybe, when all else fails, when a loved one has left us, or when we just invested our time and effort on something that failed in the end, that should be the sign that we should focus now on our dear life. The one thing we can control.

We shouldn’t rely on anybody to make us happy, or pray that life would always be a bed of roses. I know that most people become bored with their lives or feel depressed when they suffer a setback. But there is something that we can do to bounce back. We should go out of our comfort zone and take risks. We should be more optimistic about life.

In my case, it seems that in my age, people might be thinking I'm a late bloomer or maybe they were expecting that I should have a conventional life. I should have my own family and kids. Well, we know that it is something that comes along and it is not something to be searched for. Maybe I have taken the road less traveled but it's still a meaningful journey nevertheless. But how do I see myself now? I want to become a complete person. I shouldn’t be pressured with the thought that married persons are the only ones who feel complete. I want to explore different facets of my personality. I want to travel to a far away place, try new things I have never done before. I want to see exotic places, learn a new culture and live in another environment. But of course, marriage would also serve like an icing on the cake.

When I think about my new plans, I get a whole new euphoria and I can’t wait to see how my life will unravel now. I said to myself, it's never too late for me to do things that I was afraid to do before. I want to make a decision that is entirely my own, and not because somebody dictated it. I must admit, I always ask other people for constant reassurance. I was also reluctant to try new things unfamiliar to me. I used to beat up myself for past failures. But now I realized that I shouldn’t wallow in self pity or just sit in one corner and think of life as meaningless. I’m not afraid of failure anymore I just have to do it. I should learn from past failures and see where I have gone wrong, and apply a different strategy to ensure success. A whole new perspective is just what I need.

Just like in the book, Veronika searched for redemption and meaning in her life because she knows her days are numbered. In my case, I ask myself now. “If I won’t do this now, when will I do it? When I’m old and wrinkled? When I have full blown osteoporosis?” So I must do it now. Time is ticking fast.

I learned from the book that it’s never too late for us to turn our life around, even in our darkest moments. We gain our will to live when we are faced with the danger of imminent death, or with the disturbing thought that we wasted a lot of opportunities in life when we almost had it in the palm of our hands. I suddenly have this startling realization, that life is not a choice but a gift.

Superb Action!

Oh how I wish that we can do outrageous things in real life just like in the movies. As a certified movie buff, I am always in awe of films with high production values, spectacular stunts, as well as death-defying scenes.

I must say I was first impressed with “The Matrix." I like its fast-paced editing, and its coolness. Keanu Reeves helped a lot. He was really a stand out in shades. The slow motion scenes and the falling down scenes from a building seem to take forever, and it would seem they are eternally suspended in air, but who cares? Who says films had to be realistic and rational at all times?

Another one is “Swordfish.” I don’t like violence in real life but I have to give a thumbs up sign to the bombing scene. I am not familiar with the special effects that they use, but there seems to be a 360 degree turn of the camera, a slow motion, as well as close-up shots presenting the fine details of the scene. It was a sight to behold, only in the movies.

“Kill Bill” is also unique, because the film is not stereotypical. It has elements of surprise, and violence is presented in an artistic way. Just like how we would see it in a video game. An anime scene was also inserted and it blended well in the scope of the entire movie. The story telling is innovative too.

Next is “Wanted.” It was not heavily promoted in our country, but there was the Angelina Jolie Factor. I like it when a lady kicks ass. It’s time for some woman power. James McAvoy didn’t disappoint me at all. His role fits him to a T. I like the combination of his boyish charm, vulnerability, and his transformation from an ordinary clerk, to a skillful assassin is simply awesome! Yeah, the scenes were simply incredible and too hard to believe, but then again this is entertainment, so why should we complain?

Last but not the least, I would like to mention “District 9.” I didn’t have any idea of how the movie would be like at first. But I guess the movie poster made me curious. I thought it was like Resident Evil, aliens version.

Well, I must say that the first 30 minutes was kinda dragging and I have to get used to the documentary style of presenting the film. I was wondering how long it would last and I’ll never forgive myself if this turns out to be a bore. But after some time, I told myself not to have any misgivings and just take the film for what it is.

The scenes that looked like they were taken from broadcast news turns out to be scenes,that were actually made for the movie. If only for that, it got my seal of approval. It reflected the film's high production value,remarkable editing,as well as the film's intention of bringing a good story to the viewers. After some time, it finally dawned on me that the documentary style was just the introduction. Thank God!

After the film was able to establish its premise, now comes the blow by blow account of what’s to happen next. The suspense is building up. It's like deja vu. It's like watching Iron Man and Transformers. The film totally exceeded my expectations. The lead actor is not famous but he gave an incredible performance. He gave a very realistic portrayal of his role. Not bad for an actor who is relatively unknown.

So go and see the movie! The film has superb action and it will also touch your heart towards the end.

Borderline

When I think of the word borderline, I remember the first hit of Madonna. She was young then and I think she was the real epitome of a pop star before the emergence of Britney Spears. She had a style all her own. It was slutty but nevertheless cute."Borderline" has simple lyrics and melody but during the start of the MTV era, her video was one of the breakthrough videos. Adolescents would idolize her and copy her fashion.

But another definition of Borderline has something to do with personality disorders in Psychiatry.

We study this in school.In psychiatry, It says that:

DSM-IV defines ten categories of personality disorder. Of these, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is the most frequent in clinical practice. BPD is also one of the most difficult and troubling problems in all of psychiatry.
But I have to admit I never understood it before until I was able to see a prime example in real life. Believe me, I think it's really difficult to deal with someone with this kind of disorder, especially if a love one or someone close to you is afflicted with it. To give you an idea of some of the characteristics of this disorder. Here are some characteristics:

They have consistent patterns of instability in their relationships.

They commonly complain of depression and boredom.

They have very little control over their impulses.

They have a fragile and unstable self-image and affect.

They exert a lot of energy avoiding abandonment, whether real or imaginary.

Their relationships tend to be intense and short-lived.

They alternately idealize and devalue others, particularly their mates.

They make excessive emotional demands in close relationships.

They have difficulty tolerating ambivalence.

They always seem to be in a state of crisis.

Their behavior is highly unpredictable.

They place people in polar extremes, either all good or all bad.


Treatment

It is no secret that this particular client group can be something of a nightmare when it comes to finding effective therapeutic interventions. The treatment of BPD is fraught with difficulty, particularly in an in-patient setting where many borderline behaviors result in discord among the staff or where the demands made upon an individual nurse can become extremely unrealistic.

Treatment of BPD falls into two main categories - pharmacology, incorporating a range of medication options and psychotherapeutic techniques ranging from supportive counseling to psychoanalysis. Although many of the treatments available fall firmly outside the remit of the RMN it does no harm for nurses to understand the options available.

Pharmacological treatments include:

SSRIs to combat the deficiencies in serotonin absorption.

Neuroleptics to treat psychotic symptoms as well as dysphoria .

Carbamazepine has been used in the treatment of behavioral and affective problems.

Psychotherapeutic approaches to Borderline Personality Disorder are dogged with the same problems of compliance as pharmacological approaches are. This is in no small measure due to the difficulty Borderline patients have in forming the stable relationships generally seen as a pre-requisite for therapy.

Anyway, this blog is by no means trying to stigmatize personality disorders. It is caused by a lot of factors and anybody could be afflicted with it. Here is a diagram to help us understand the causes of psychological disorders.


But I believe that people afflicted with it should be compliant in their treatment, in order to manage their illness. A strong support group also helps.

Just Don't Think About It

There are some things in life that's hard to fathom that's why every man must set limitations in his mind. There are things we need to accept as "ENOUGH" and thinking much about one thing can lead to obsessive thoughts. I wonder why great and talented people succumb to madness, or they have some form of psychological disorder. I think it's because they try to outdo themselves or try to do something impossible and they think they could find a breakthrough. I think it's part of the ballgame. Some intelligent people become eccentric and they sacrifice a lot for their work that can be useful to society in some cases. But I think great minds also have a certain limitation, and when they want to outdo themselves they have obsessive thoughts too. Anyway many things can be said about psychological disorders, since it is multi-factorial. Everyone can be afflicted with it, great minds or not and it originates from one thing, STRESS, so I suggest that people should learn to relax, and take some things in stride or else we will go crazy. On a second thought, isn't it good not to be too intelligent, coz there's a thin line between intelligence and madness? Then there's the emotional factor, experiences can affect us, but how do we deal with it? Well, why don't we just tell ourselves that we watch too many movies and being so dramatic about it won't win us a best actor award in real life? We should just learn to overcome it and move on. Move past our weaknesses, and just go through the normal cycles in life with a sense of optimism and fun.

Relaxing Songs

This playlist is again a mixture of old and not so old tunes. I particularly like the jazzed up version of "Got to be There" which is a Jackson 5 original and I also like 90's music, where the modern RnB era started. TLC's songs are very funky and cool, as well as SWV. I like their take on "Human Nature" which is another MJ song. Anyway, these are relaxing songs according to me. Free from stress, calm and soothing. I think I ran out of synonyms, hahaha...it is what it is, RELAXING!

Simply Beautiful

First Row: Churches
Second Row: Mall
Third Row : Our Garden

I think my sister is a budding photographer in action. She takes pictures as a form of a hobby, and I'm the one who arranges it, as you can see in this collage.

Thank You for the Music

Such a nice song from the movie Mamma Mia.